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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22910437">Will I Ever Be More Then I am</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bebbie_the_Hufflepuff/pseuds/Bebbie_the_Hufflepuff'>Bebbie_the_Hufflepuff</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Coming of Age, F/M, First Time, M/M, Post-War, Self-Discovery</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 14:54:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,615</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22910437</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bebbie_the_Hufflepuff/pseuds/Bebbie_the_Hufflepuff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Back for another year at Hogwarts, only this year instead of a murderous half blood trying to kill him, Ron find himself not only rooming with one Slytherin but two. Eighth year started so we'll. Maybe it will end even better. Follow Ron on his journey of self discovery and the benefits of falling in love.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Draco Malfoy/Ron Weasley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Ron/Draco Fest - Better Together</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Will I Ever Be More Then I am</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thanks to this fest I was introduce to the musical Dear Evan Hanson and even though I've only listened to the songs it was inspiring. If you haven't heard the song 'Will I ever be more then I am' I highly recommend it. The song isn't a huge part of this fic just the feeling of wanting more. To be more.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hearts broken, wounds deep.<br/>
Time forever moving ahead.<br/>
Never able to take that leap.<br/>
Afraid of being mislead.</p><p>                          Houses once divided<br/>
Now are being guided.<br/>
Stand together or fail alone.<br/>
Don’t let it be sat in stone.</p><p>                         Tail of two hearts<br/>
Two sides left unsaid<br/>
Never together but never apart<br/>
A fine red thread.</p><p>              June 2008.</p><p>“Ten years. Ten long years.” Ronald Billius Weasley stood on the small platform facing the sea of mostly unknown faces. At lot happened over the last decade, Ron lost a brother. Possibly fall in love with boy who hadn’t known himself. Became a senior Auror only to quit in order to help his brother’s joke shop out. Glancing around the crowd he tried placing the faces. There in the front row was the Patil twins. Towards the middle he saw a group of redheads. It was the blonde at the back that held his attention the most however. “You know what, forget this speech Hermione more or less wrote. Partly because I was to reluctant to, otherwise known as I was to lazy. Partly because the woman is a control freak.”</p><p> Ron rolled his parchment paper back up receiving chuckles from the crowd. “Ten years ago was the worst year of my life but also the best. I lost a brother, friends, and even people I couldn’t be bothered to remember their names. I also fall in love and stupidity allowed me to let that love ran away. And I do mean ran since he took off in the middle of the night. Shit happens, sometimes goods, sometimes bad. Either way life goes on. If the Battle Of Hogwarts taught me anything, it’s to not take anything for granted..” Ron ended his speech with a strained smile as he strolled from the stage not bothering to retake his sit in between Harry and Hermione.</p><p>With quick steps Ron descended the stairs to the boat house where he saw the blond hair disappeared to. Slipping out of his dragon hide boots he made quick work of rolling his trousers up his calf , plopping down on the pair where he let his feet sink into the lake.</p><p>“Elegant speech there Weasel.” Ron just shook his head leading back on his hands as he watched the sky slowly darken.</p><p>“Well I kept telling them I didn’t want anything to do a speech or even of this actually.” </p><p>“Glad to know nothing has changed then.” The soft laugh drew Ron’s eyes to the man next to him. Longer blonde hair tied back from the softer cheek bones. Slightly broader shoulders but still a slim waist and legs that seemed to never end. The sliver gray eyes were still the same from ten years ago.</p><p>“Do you remember-“ </p><p>“That we lost are virginity in this very boat house? And it was the worst sex I’ve ever had to date.” Draco Malfoy laughed locking eyes with his… Well he still wasn’t what Ron was-is to him.</p><p>“Yeah it was pretty horrible, right?” Ron joined in, laughing along side Draco. Quiet soon fall but it didn’t bother the pair as they sat watching the sky. “I didn’t know you would be here.”</p><p>“Give a guy a worrying about declaring your love next time and I might have shown up sooner.”</p><p>“You knew I loved you right?” Ron asked seriously turning back toward his companion.</p><p>“And I you.” Draco confessed with a sad smile. “But we still had a lot of growing up to do.”</p><p>“Yeah we did.” Ron agreed turning back to the sky as it lite up with lights. The pair sat is silence until the last spark fall from the darken night. And without a word Ron stood retreating his boots. A simple squeeze to Draco was the only farewell Ron gave before walking away.</p><p>“Ron?” The redhead stopped halfway out the door at the sound of his name. Turning around he came face to face with the shorter male. Looking down, Ron arched an eyebrow in anticipation what Draco has to say. “So you remember-“</p><p>“How could I forget?” Ron smiled softly brushing loss hair from Draco's face. “It will always be a open invitation.”</p><p>**********XOXOXO******<br/>
1 September 1998</p><p>Ronald Weasley strolled behind Headmistress McGonagall as all of the newly dubbed eight years followed her from the Heart Hall. A quick head count done by Hermione told him their were only twenty-seven students that came back. It would have been only twenty-five had his mum and Hermione hasn’t spent all summer pestering him and Harry about higher education. When that didn’t work they started in on the guilt trips about how some kids don’t get this chance. That made Harry cave.</p><p>Ron was able to hold out until last night. Percy had came back to the family after the final battle but he wasn’t the same. Last night Percy had came into his little brother’s room and didn’t say anything for a good hour. Right when Ron was about to snap Percy had informed Ron he would be leaving for awhile. Percy quit his ministry job and had no directions for the first time in all of his twenty-two years of life. Percy also told Ron if he stayed then Percy would as well. Nothing more was said as the brothers help each other pack.</p><p>After a lengthy walk McGonagall stood outside a freshly built building. A building that looked out of place between the greenhouses and the stairs to the boat house. Opening the door McGonagall showed the eighth years their new common room.</p><p>“I know this is a little unorthodox however the normal common rooms are meant to accommodate so many. Therefore I had this new dorm room built especially for you lot. The same rules will apply even though you will be housed outside the main walls.” McGonagall pointed to the left set if stairs, then the right. “Girls dorms on the right, guys on the left. Each room can accommodate up to four individuals. Since you are all of age I will let you decide the rooms.” Starting towards the door when turned for a final remark. “ As eighth years you will have no head of house directly. If there is a problem you can not sort out alone you may come find me and I’ll do my best to resolve the issues.” </p><p>For a full minute no one spoke all to busy looking at everything but each other. Always the one to hate an awkward silence Ron turned on Harry.</p><p>“Well I’ll tell you this, I’m not rooming with you anymore “ Ron declared with a grin to a shocked Harry.</p><p>“Why not?” Harry asked doing his best to not feel hurt.</p><p>“If given the choice to room with anyone not dating my sister, I’m gonna take it.” Ron’s smile quickly dropped spinning towards Dean. “Or anyone who has dated my sister. You’re out Dean and I’m not sorry.”</p><p>Seamus let out a belly dead laugh earning a shove from his best mate. The laugher of the small group filled the common room breaking the quiet spell.</p><p>“Oh yeah and no one who snore.” Ron joked pointing at Seamus. “Just you and me then Neville… Actually no, you kind of date Ginny.”</p><p>“That was almost four years ago and it was just a dance! Nothing happened!”</p><p>“You came in after the rest of us!” Harry protested starting a new round of laughter. They sat there long after the room cleared, joking, catching up, anything that came to their mind. Finally, for the first time in months Ron felt normal. No more over whelming since of sadness. No good memories to hunt his every thought. </p><p>“Alright, best I find out who my new room mate is.” Ron laughs heading up the left staircase, slowly making his way to one or two doors without nameplates. Opening the door Ron’s eyed landed on the other man. Tall, probably as tall as Ron himself. Short black hair with a slight wave at the tips and baby blue eyes. “Hey, mind if I share the room with you?”</p><p>The other male tilted his head as if trying to solve a arithmetic problem or trying to understand the utter nonsense professor Trelawney spat out. Shaking his head he continued to change into his nightwear.</p><p>“Do you even know who I am?” He asked glancing back towards Ron. At the clueless expression on the red head’s face he continued speaking. “I’m hurt Weasley we only had classes together for seven- six years. Let face it, last year doesn’t count.”</p><p>“I get it to chose my room mates for the first time. So as long as you don’t snore or dated my sister or want to date my sister I couldn’t care less who you are.” Ron shoot back claiming the bed near the window. </p><p>“What if I have ground rules?” The other male raised as eyebrow with a smirk. “I can assure you I’m more of a sleep with your brother kind of bloke. I also don’t snore. Do you?”</p><p>“I don’t talk in my sleep.” Ron shrugged changing into his own t-shirt and sleep trousers. “You got ground rules?”</p><p>“No annoying Gryffindor’s crowding my space. Simple enough.” The Man then strolled towards Ron offering out his hand. “Names Theodore Notts. Call me Theo. No Teddy. No Theodore.”</p><p>Shanking hands Ron agreed to the simple terms. All things considered Ron got a pretty easy going roommate and if he counted right it would just be them two sharing the large room. After he finished changing Ron slid into bed when a thought hit him.</p><p>“Wait Theo Nott as in the Slytherin Theo Nott?”</p><p>“Wow Weasley. It took you this long to place me. I really am wounded now.” Theo laughed turning off his bedside lamp. “Guess I’m not worth knowing. Me being a Slytherin going to be a problem?”</p><p>“Long as you don’t wanna bang my sister, we are good.” Ron said turning off his own lamp casting the room his darkness. “If you take suggestions on with brother to bang though, I vote on Percy. He’s way to uptight.”</p><p>********XOXOXOX*******</p><p>As fall turned to early winter Ron and Theo became almost inseparable. Everyone quick to accept the witty quiet Slytherin in their mist. But as colder weather moved in quickly so did another life changing moment.</p><p>It was after the Halloween fest did Headmistress McGonagall venture into the eighth year common room for the second time. Just like last time she was followed by a fallow student.</p><p>“Students I want you to give a warm welcome to your new house mate. He’ll need help catching up on what’s he has missed, so I would greatly appreciate all the help given to Mister Malfoy.” As McGonagall stopped speaking she placed a calming hand on Draco Malfoy's shoulder slowly pushing him passed the doorway.</p><p>Ron stared at the boy he hasn’t seen since the end of the war months ago. Long blonde hair hang downwards coving the gray eyes Ron could never forget. Malfoy was thinner however. Thinner then when Ron met Harry all those years ago. Malfoy also didn’t ooze confidence any more. Before anyone could say a word Theo jumped from his set beside Ron and dragged Malfoy from the room.</p><p>“I also wish to remind everyone that counseling is available to all that wish to talk.” With her parting words McGonagall took her leave.</p><p>Sharing a look with Harry, Ron turned back to his chess game. The room quickly filled with noise. After a few hours Ron headed towards his room debating on whether he should announce his presents. Slowly he cracked the door open to the sounds of muffled crying. Glancing in Ron saw Theo sitting on the floor, arms wrapped around a shacking Malfoy. With a deep sigh Ron thought it best to leave the two Slytherins alone for the night.</p><p>The next morning Ron woke to Hermione dropping a book off the towering stack on the table. He sat just watching his best mate as she fiercely wrote Merlin knows what. Once yen minutes passed Ron decided it was time to get up. With a squeeze to Hermione’s shoulder he continued upstairs.</p><p>Quietly he opened his bedroom door realizing Theo forgot to shut the curtains as the morning rays lit up Malfoy’s pale features. It seemed like Malfoy’s hair was a halo. Ron had to admit that Malfoy has looked better but there was just something about how the sunlight danced a crossed his face.</p><p>Stepping in Ron tippy toed to his truck, pulling out fresh cloths then made it towards the bathroom opening the door without much thought. Closing the door Ron came face to face with a very naked Theo. Dropping his clothes Ron covered his eyes.</p><p>“Sorry Theo! I didn’t think!” Ron said embarrassed.</p><p>“We have the same bits Weasley. You could look and it wouldn’t make a difference.” Theo laughed and Ron just knew the man was smirking. “Then again it would make a difference to me. But I like my partner with muscles and hair on the chest.”</p><p>“Shut it Theo!” Ron said throwing the closest thing at his new friend. “Just get out!”</p><p>“Harsh since I was in here first. Luckily for you I’m done masturbated.” Groaning Ron throw more stuff towards Theo until the man left. Once he had the bathroom to himself he removed yesterday’s clothes stepping into a hot shower. Washing the dirt and grime away Ron tried his best to not think of the sleeping blonde who somehow ended up in his bed.</p><p>“Hey Theo.” A voice called from outside the door before it cracked open revealing a messy haired blonde in Ron’s shirt. Ron wasn’t sure why his stomach chose that moment to form knots but he also couldn’t explain the way his heart was pounding either.</p><p>“I’m sorry to bother you but I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t want to be here. I don’t even have my own clothes.” Malfoy’s voice faded as more cold air was let in. “Did you see-“</p><p>Clearing his voice Ron hopped to give Malfoy the chance to realize he wasn’t speaking to Theo and hopefully wouldn't hate Ron more then he already did. Turning the water off, Ron counted to ten before reaching for his towel blindly. When his hand felt cold fingers he knew Malfoy had came fully into the bathroom.</p><p>“Honestly Theo, you are acting as if we haven’t been naked around each other.” Malfoy sighed with a slight giggle. </p><p>“Draco? You in here?” Ron’s back shoot to attention at the sound of Theo’s voice coming from the bedroom. “I brought food. Better come eat before Weasley- Wait Weasley wouldn’t be out of the shower yet.” With a silent swear Ron wrapped his towel tighter around his waist as he hear Theo stump into the bathroom. “Draco why are you in the bathroom with Weasley?”</p><p>“Theo?” Even without seeing Malfoy’s face Ron could hear the confusion. What Ron didn’t hear was Malfoy moving towards the shower ripping the shower curtain up.</p><p>“Yeah if I could have the bathroom back to myself, I can get dressed.’ Ron asked fighting the blush covering half his chest and face.</p><p>“Knew you wouldn’t be my type.” Theo laughed as Malfoy and Ron glared at him. “Muscles, check. Hairy chest, no check.”</p><p>“Get out Theo” Ron shouted throwing his bar of soap. Sadly Theo manage to shut the door to safe before he was hit. “Freaking jerk.” He declared climbing out of the shower jerking the towel from his waist to dry his hair.</p><p>“Oh wow. Ummm… I should go.” Horrified he forgot about Malfoy, Ron stared wide eyes as the blonde backed up into the door knob. “ Wow. I’m going. I should go.” Red faced Malfoy finally managed to open the door.</p><p>Quickly Ron got dressed despite the fact he never wanted to leave the bathroom again. Merlin know how long it was before Ron heard a gentle knock.</p><p>“Umm… Weasley, I have to use the facilities.” Ron had never heard such a timber sound coming from Malfoy. Opening the door he came face to face with yet another Slytherin. At least this one was dressed. Even if he was dressed in Ron’s clothes. Moving hair behind his ear Malfoy stared at Ron’s neck or shoulder. “Theo left for class half an hour ago.”</p><p>“Fuck me.” Ron swear already hearing Hermione nagging him later about skipping class.</p><p>“Yes please.” Locking eyes with the blonde, Ron was shocked into silence. “I just mean… I don’t know what I mean. Excuse me.”</p><p>Ron let Malfoy push passed him all but slamming the door shut. Flabbergasted Ron grabbed his bag making his way for the last half of potions class.  </p><p>The rest of the day passed like normal. The eighth years joined in some seventh year classes and had a few shorten ones on what used to be the professors down time. No rest for the wicked Harry loves to say. At least they got three days off instead of the normal two. They also got free range of the castle and Hogsmeat.  Only thing that wasn’t normal that day was Theo. He showed up for classes, take notes, then disappeared. He didn’t even have meals with Ron.</p><p>Calling it a night at half past nine, Ron made his way to his shared dorm. Knocking before opening the door to find Theo and Malfoy on the floor again.</p><p>“Yo.” Theo greeted never lifting his head from the open text book. “Hey you’re cool with Draco rooming with us?”</p><p>“My ground rules haven’t changed.” Ron forced a smile glancing at Malfoy. “No snoring. No wanting to bang my sister.”</p><p>“I guess you forgot my reaction this morning.” Malfoy muttered, checks turning a nice shade of pink. “I don’t snore.”</p><p>“Cool. It's nice not being the only male Slytherin again.” Theo announced stretching. “I’m going to get a snack. Do you guys want anything?” </p><p>“Nah, I’m good.” Ron answered leaping on his bed face down. Ron laid there is silence willing himself to stop being so hyper aware of the blonde. “You know, I never noticed Theo was the only Slytherin who came back.”</p><p>“Well I saw Daphne and Millie. Still three is still a far cry from how we use to be.” Malfoy answered.</p><p>“What do you mean?” Ron asked turning until he spotted Malfoy. Watching the blonde walk towards the window where he sat on the bench there.</p><p>“Most of us come… Came from very prominent families. With mean we have to act a certain way. Hold ourselves a certain way. Be a certain way.” Malfoy spoke crossing his arms around himself like a shield. “Theo never cared much for that way. So he was also considered the black sheep no matter where he was. Being a Slytherin gave the rest of us that kind of freedom because we were finally around people who understood and who could relate.”</p><p>“Almost like a family?” Ron sat up debating with himself for half a second before joining Malfoy on the bench. Sitting with his back towards the wall and feet in front of him almost touching Malfoy’s.</p><p>“I can only image how lonely Theo felt. At least the girls had each other.” Malfoy locked eyes with Ron biting his bottom lip.</p><p>“You must be really close to Theo.”</p><p>“My first crush if you can believe it.” At Ron shocked look, Malfoy couldn’t control his laughter. “Of course we were seven and my father made it very clear I could bed a man but only in the privacy of night. Theo isn’t the type to hid who he is. I respect and admire that about him.”</p><p>“So like my brother Charlie. Always dancing to a drum only he can hear.” Ron smile, deciding that no matter what he would introduce Charlie to his new friend.</p><p>“About this morning…” Ron watched as Malfoy closed himself off even farther assuming the blonde must be hurting himself with how hard his arms was squeezing.</p><p>“I didn’t want to be here either.” Ron confessed not sure why he felt like he could with the boy who made several years of his life miserable. “Mum and Hermione speak weeks nagging and trying to guilt me but I still didn’t want to come back.”</p><p>“And yet here we are.” Malfoy looked around noticing how well Theo shared his space with the Weasel. </p><p>“And yet here we are.” </p><p>“I can ask McGonagall tomorrow for a different room.” </p><p>“Don’t bother. She let us chose the rooming arrangements.” Ron said realizing that he and Theo got ride of the other beds since it was just them. Curses mother for installing manners into him. “Take my bed until we can get another one.”</p><p>“I couldn’t do that.” Malfoy protested waving his arms around. “I mean I could but I won’t.”</p><p>“You kind of did already last night. Plus that’s my shirt you’ve been wearing all day.” Ron laughed as Malfoy turned that lovely shade of pink again. He could get use to that color of the Slytherin. “Your trunk still hasn’t showed up has it?”</p><p>Hiding his face in his knees, Malfoy shook his head no. Praying the floor would open up and swallow him whole. He couldn’t believe his misfortune. Being told he had to finish school or lose his wand was hard enough. To be shipped off without a single belonging and escorted to Hogwarts with armed Aurors was horrifying. Just when he thought things were looking up Malfoy found Theo rooming with Ronald Weasley of all the people.</p><p>“I have some smaller sleep trousers if you want them for now.”</p><p>“Don’t be nice.” Malfoy hissed hiding in his knees again. “At least not now of all times.” </p><p>“Well don’t be…” Ron waved his hand indicating all around Malfoy. “Like this all the time.” With a smile Ron grab his night wear changing in the bathroom. Before handing to the common room he throw some of his smaller clothes towards Malfoy.</p><p>*************XOXOXOX********</p><p>As harsher weather closed in Ron found himself falling into a new nightly routine. Theo rejoined him in classes and at meals only because Malfoy refused to leave their dorm. And it only took a week to add a new bed after Theo finally let Hermione in to transfigure one.</p><p>Ron got use to Theo. He was like a second shadow. Always there and never a problem. Malfoy however was still in the adjustable period. Shower schedules were made and Ron was never walked in on again thankfully. But Ron found himself in the new bed while Malfoy overtook his old area. It ever even occurred to Ron to move his trunk.</p><p>The weirdest thing still was how calm Ron felt around his old nemesis. Chess with Malfoy was world’s better then Harry and they could hold an actual conversation. Never about their families though. </p><p>“All I’m saying is that the Canons is more like a what a team isn’t supposed to be.” Malfoy said the Friday night before a Hogsmeat trip<br/>
.<br/>
“And all I’m saying is-” Whatever Ron was going to stay was cut off thanks to Seamus barging hi dorm followed by Dean.</p><p>“Ron settle something for us, who sucks more?” Ron was flabbergasted. Of all the arguments he's been dragged into in the past this one has to be the most unexpected one.</p><p>“Umm..” Clearing his throat the red head looked between the pair. Thankfully Malfoy came to his rescue.</p><p>“How could Ron know if he’ll still a virgin?” Then again maybe not. </p><p>“No no no. Not like that.” Dean interjected waving his hands frantically. “ What Seamus is trying to ask, is which of us seems more like a proof.”</p><p>Again Ron was shocked speechless. How was he supposed to know 'suck' was somehow another word for proof. On top of having to chose who gave off more of a girly vibe. On one hand Seamus has never dated a girl and Dean is Ginny’s ex. On the other hand they were always together.</p><p>“Malfoy.” Ron declared frankly turning back to his chess game. After moving his knight Ron glanced through his eyelashes to see Malfoy smiling.</p><p>“Twat.” Malfoy tried hiding his laughter but at Ron outrageous he almost lost it.<br/>
“Scrubber.” Malfoy lost it falling off the window seal in a fit of uncontrollable laughter. Soon Ron joined in as his friends became even more confused. </p><p>“Scrubber is old slang for prostitute.” Theo informed the Gryffindors. “Granger gave us a whole history lesson the one and only time she was allowed in here.” </p><p>“She hasn’t been back since.” Ron said in between giggles. “Besides its not my fault we aren’t any good at transfiguration.”</p><p>“And you’re a idiot.” Theo shot back gathering his belongings. “I’m going to the library to finish my paper. I can’t believe you two have ruined my space for me. Thank you.”</p><p>“You’re welcome.” They said together causing a new round of laughter.</p><p>“Might as well leave too boys. They can be insufferable sometimes.” Theo said waving the Gryffindors out the door. </p><p>Ron’s laughter slowly died down as he watched Malfoy’s carefree side. Smiling Ron started cataloging all of the he blonds features. The silvery blond hair brushing high cheek, glistening gray eyes and a slim waist.</p><p>“What?” Malfoy question leaning towards Ron.</p><p>“Can you- never mind.” Ron dismissed helping Malfoy up. “Your hands are so soft.”</p><p>“Thank you?” Malfoy chuckled. “Now we have lived together for several weeks and I’m getting good at picking up on you holding out on me. Spill.”</p><p>“Theo was your crush once, yeah? Have you fancied anyone else since?” Ron bit him lip staring anywhere but at the blond still holding his hand.</p><p>“Yeah of course I have. There was Pansy.” Malfoy tilled his head in thought. “Wow just Pansy but that obviously didn’t work out.” </p><p>“So you’ve never been… I mean.”</p><p>“I’ve never dated a bloke?” Ron shook his head yes. “I have, kind of. Theo and I tried it back in third years. It when I realized I didn’t want to hold Theo back. Why do you want to try. Dating a bloke I mean.”</p><p>“Well.. I don’t know.” Ron admitted. “ I remember being with Lavender and then again with Hermione. I didn’t feel like what everyone said I should.”</p><p>“So it must mean you should be with a bloke and not that you haven’t found the right girl.” Malfoy smirked. Ron’s expression shifted to pain for a second before he schooled his features. “Ok, why now?”</p><p>“You.” </p><p>“Me?” </p><p>“You have this… Weird allure. I don’t understand.”</p><p>“Ok.” Malfoy said cupping Ron’s cheeks making the redhead look at him. Biting his lip Malfoy searched blue eyes for an answer to his unasked question. Closing the gap between them Malfoy softly placed his lips to the corner Ron’s lips. Hesitantly Malfoy drew a deep breath before reaching for his inner Gryffindor. Soft meet rough in a sweet innocent kiss. “How was that?”</p><p>Leaping to his feet Ron pulled Malfoy tightly against him crushing their lips together. Warping his arms around the slightly smaller man Ron held on like his life dependent on him. “That was better.”</p><p>“Your heart is going to jump out of his chest.”</p><p>“You can catch better than a snitch, right!” Ron’s grin went from ear to ear earning himself a shoulder slap.</p><p>“Git.” Malfoy muttered yanking Ron down for another kiss.</p><p>***********XOXOXO*********</p><p>Before either teen realized winter holiday had came and gone. Ron had a hard time leaving Draco but knew him mum wouldn't be able to handle Christmas without all of her remaining children. Even Charlie took a whole two weeks off. At least Draco had Theo for company if that only gave Ron a small piece of mind.</p><p>Neither spoke of their time together and if Theo noticed anything different he never said a word. Then again it want unusual to see Draco in Ron's shirt since his trunk still hasn't shown up. Or to find the pair playing chess. In fact the only thing Ron said differently was spend less time with Harry, who spent most of his free time with Ginny, or Heroine, who couldn't be pulled away from the library most days.</p><p>Soon Valentine's day was upon them and instead of joining his friends on a Hogsmeat trip, Ron desired to spend the day alone with Draco. For the first time in months Draco had left the safety of his dorm room and was rewarded with the biggest, uplifting smile.</p><p>A quite stroll around the lake turned into a impromptu picnic. Laying his rode on the ground Ron huddled closer to Draco’s warmth. Like normal they sat in prefect silence taking in the mid-afternoon sunshine. </p><p>“Oh I forgot I got you a card!” Draco announced out of the blue, frantically searching his rode. With a victory yelp Draco held out what looked like a homemade card.</p><p>“You made me a Valentines card?” Ron smirked with a arched eyebrow. On the front was a pretty good rendition of the pair sitting together with the words  'no one gets me like you get me'. Opening the card Ron busted out laughing. “’There must be something wrong with you'. Merlin you’re to much at times. Thanks.”</p><p>“Your welcome, Polpetto” Draco’s eyes got wide at his carelessness as Ron gave him a puzzled look.</p><p>“Polpetto?”</p><p>“It umm… It means meatball in Italian.” Draco forced out hoping Ron didn’t understand the ultimate meaning behind what he said. To Draco’s surprise Ron started to laugh again accepting the nickname without complaint.</p><p>The pair sat by the lake while the sun grew darker and the stars began to sprinkle the night sky. Strolling hand in hand back to the castle sharing passionate kisses and loving embraces. When the finally made it back to the common room Draco made a beeline for the stairs leaving Ron standing alone.</p><p>Ron just didn’t get it. Sure Draco didn’t want to be back at Hogwarts but he could at least try to make the best out of a difficult situation. Hell Ron was.  </p><p>“Ron!” Hearing his name Ron scanned the room before he found Ginny waving her hand like a mad woman. Approaching the small group Ron greeted them all.</p><p>“So what did you do all day?” Ginny inquired, practically sitting in Harry’s lap. Locking eyes with a Hermione they shared 'can you believe these two' look before answering his sister.</p><p>“I was by the lake.”</p><p>“Doing what?” Harry chimed in still confused as to why Ron hadn’t joined the group. In l fairness everyone had a significant other or partner and he never liked the feeling of being the extra wheel.</p><p>“Just chilling.”</p><p>“Fine don’t tell your only sister about your secret girlfriend.” Ginny sighed.</p><p>“My what?” Ron asked bewildered. He didn’t tell anyone about Malfoy or what they did. And he didn’t think he acted differently, so how could Ginny know.</p><p>“Your hidden girl.” Seamus repeated next to Dean. “Or maybe it’s a bloke?”</p><p>“You are spending to much time around Ginny, mate.” Ron laughed brushing them off heading towards his dorm. Though he could still hear some or their comments.</p><p>“Should we be worried he spends such time with those Slytherins?”</p><p>“Ron isn’t himself, that’s for sure.”</p><p>“He lost his brother he is entitled to switch his life up.”<br/>
Shaking off their comments Ron took the stairs two at a time. Take a deep breath Ron schooled his features before turning the knob stopping at the sound of voices.</p><p>“How long do you intend to play house?” Theo harsh tone shocked Ron. In the months they have knew each other Theo has never sounded so cold. Especially now towards Draco.</p><p>“I’m not playing house.” Draco shot back pacing the room. “Weasley is… Different.”</p><p>“The plan Draco. Don’t get blinded.” Theo sounded defeated. “You know how the world looks at us and Ron is lost and confused. I don’t want to see you hurt. And you will be the hurt no matter the outcome.”</p><p>“I know Theo. Weasley wasn’t part of the plan but it happened!” Draco’s pacing ceased as he sunk down to sit on Ron’s bed. “ I want my freedom no matter what. I don’t care what the Ministry has to say or how many times McGonagall insist I join into classes.”</p><p>“Then stop this nonsense with Ron.”</p><p>“I can’t.”</p><p>“And why the hell not?” Theo shouted knocking the desk over in his haste to reach Draco.</p><p>“He is… Polpetto.” Draco whispered hugging himself closer. “I still have a lot to learn. And a lot to experience but I know without a shred of doubt that I want to be with Ron. I can’t really good explain it. He’s brash, loud, and something a heathen. And yet he makes my heart jump and my bones weak. Whether we talk all day about nothing or sit in silence, it nice. Its what normal eighteen year olds do.”</p><p>Deciding he has overhead enough he slowly back down the hallway insuring when he re-approached he made sure he was louder then normal. Opening the dorm Ron saw Theo picking his stuff the floor and Draco on his bed. </p><p>“What’s up Theo?” Ron asked out of politeness not really caring for a answer. Theo must have picked up on Ron’s not caring and merely scuffed. Glancing between the pair Ron made up his mind. Grabbing clean clothes he headed towards the bath, dropping a kiss to Draco’s temple before leaving. </p><p>Nothing else was said and Ron was thankful for that. He wasn’t sure what to make of what he overheard and wasn’t sure if he did. What he did know was that Draco made him feel just like how Ron made Draco feel.</p><p>The rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms, wanting more and yet satisfied with what he had. Could Hermione be right, and Ron was only with Malfoy to fill a whole in his heart. Could Theo be right and no matter what he does Draco would pay the consequences. With even more thoughts to barbate him at night Ron stayed under the shower head until the water ran ice cold.</p><p>************XOXOXO********</p><p>Ron felt out of sort. Theo has withdraw from their weird kind of friendship. Still sitting next to him in classes and meals but not saying a word. Even Draco has put distance between them. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, right?</p><p>To say Ron was caught by surprise when Draco came down the stairs and right towards him in the middle of the common room would be a understatement. A bag on one shoulder and a basket hand.</p><p>“Polpetto, join me?” Draco asked holding his empty hand towards Ron almost pleading. With a smile Ron gripped Draco’s hand being pulled to his feet then towards the door. Ron was a little taken back that instead of heading towards the lake this time, they were handed towards the boat house. Unlocking the door Draco lead him to the far side and out on the dock. </p><p>Releasing Ron’s hand Draco nervously smiled sitting the basket down. Reaching into the bag he pulled out a throw blanket to lay across the wooden planks then another blanket and a pillow. Now Ron was really curious. Sitting down Draco patted the spot next to him. Sitting closer then strictly necessary for the start of warm spring weather. Ron watched as Draco pulled a full three course meal from the basket.</p><p>“First me eat then we’ll talk.” True to his words Draco loaded up a plate for Ron. The ate in peace and for the first time in two weeks Ron felt like things were normal again. Sharing laughs and a good meal was the life in Ron’s opinion.</p><p>“Now that dinner is over.” Ron said trailing off holding Draco would fill in the check list for tonight. From their make shift bed Ron could see the way the moon shined a crossed the water and hear the wind whispering thought the trees.</p><p>“Its your birthday day-“ Draco started but was startled by the bewilder expression. “You forgot your birthday.”<br/>
“Yeah I guess I did.” Ron tried to shack his dark thoughts lose trying to smile. Guess it was easy to forget the day if Ron only counted the number of days Fred has been dead.</p><p>“I wanted to give you a one of a kind gift. Something no one else ever came close to.” Draco smiled cupping Ron’s cheeks. At the sound of Ron’s protest, Draco shut him up with a soft kiss. A kiss so gentle and unsure that it took Ron back all those months ago to their first kiss. “I know you are hurting. I am too. I also know how hard it is to pretend to be ok when your not. It’s ok to hate the world and it’s ok to be pissed.” Locking eyes Draco shower Ron in kisses. “Its also ok to fall apart and find someone who enjoys you for you.”</p><p>“Draco..” Ron fought back the lump in his throat, blinking his misty eyes.</p><p>“I want you to be my first.” Draco confessed biting his lip in anticipation for Ron’s reply.</p><p>“Your first?” Ron’s honestly confused face brought a huge smile to Draco’s lips.</p><p>“I mean I want you to take my virginity.”</p><p>“Oh.” Ron started deep into Draco’s grey eyes, searching. Draco was prefect. He got Ron in ways no one else could. Draco got Ron needed to be angry some days and how he needed handle other days. “Are you sure? You know you’re be my first too.”</p><p>“You’re telling me, that Brown chick could get such an amazing weasel but not house train him.” Draco smirked.</p><p>“Asshole.” Ron declared kissing the smile from the blonde's lips. “Stay with me forever.”</p><p>“A marry proposal? Before I even let you in my pants.” Draco crawled closer throwing a leg a crossed Ron’s lap. Settling on top Ron, Draco warped his arms around the redhead playing with his hair, sharing short sweet kisses. “Don’t ask me something like that again please.”</p><p>“What? Marrying me is that bad of a idea?” Ron joked holding Draco tighter.</p><p>“Nope.” Draco whispered stealing another kiss. “That’s the problem. I would throw away who I am for you and that’s not fair to me.”<br/>
Staring into grey eyes once more Ron gave a strained smile. He could actually understand where Draco is coming from. For the first time in the blonde’s life he had no overbearing father making all his decisions. No acquaintances to judge him. </p><p>“Its just us tonight. Besides marriage sounds like future Ron’s problem.” Sharing a laugh, Ron allowed Draco to ride him of his shirt.</p><p>************XOXOXO********</p><p>June 2008</p><p>“Should I ask again” Ron whisper leaning towards Draco lips a feather light touch. “Then again it might be your turn. Fair is fair.”</p><p>“Twat.” Draco laughed stepping back from Ron. Getting down on bended knee, Draco removed the Malfoy family ring from his hand. Gripping Ron’s left hand in his slightly shaken one, they lock eyes. “Ronald Billus  Weasley would you do me the greatly honor by redoing my first time. The bloke I was with was very very very awkward and didn’t know what he was going.”</p><p>“Asshole.” Ron smiled pulling Draco to his feet kissing the blonde as if his life was on the line. Butterflies filled his stomach and his heart about leap from his chest. Ten years. Ten long years Ron yearned for this feeling once more. The passion, the understanding, the being himself. Warts and all. “Marry me.”</p><p>“A thousand times yes Polpetto.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I was going to have Draco call Ron My Love in Italian but having him use Polpetto was to cute to pass up. Yes it mean meatball in Italian but it also a way to referred to someone special.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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